Told Sarah it is mummy birthday today the 9th of Sha'ban. Its been three years already missing those birthday greetings that I took for granted each year for many years.
He took the effort to find out my exact Hijri calendar birthday when we became a couple seventeen years ago, he said so that he got two birthdays wishes for me yearly. So every year no matter what he would gave text messages just to say Happy Birthday Sayang. Never flowers or gifts just his kind thoughts and duaa. He was the only person in my life that celebrated my Sha'ban birthday. Want to know why allah swt had given us both so many achievements throughout those years? I believed it was from all his support and duaas for me. Likewise also from my side. Everyday I am thankful god had given me another day to be his wife, may allah protect my husband and grant him endless rizq for us. Each night he would say I love you and the next morning he would hugged me tight before he left for work. Or when I am travelling the world, he would called and said good luck sayang and give your best. Long distance was so painful especially if we were months apart. The best feeling in the world was stepping out of the arrival lounge seeing his smile and that tight hug saying I love you. On the 14th year I just whispered to his ear and said hey love its my birthday today 9th of Sha'ban. Please wake up your favourite Ramadhan is coming soon. He was already in ICU back then. It was heartbreaking to see his life supported via a ventilator and wires. There laid my man that was so healthy a few months back with no health problems, having no existing illness at all. Having perfect vision. Always eating healthy. He loved to take walks with me. Six feet tall and weigh less than 95kg. We finally found out that he was genetically diabetic and an abnormal rythmic heartbeat. So that causes his cardiac arrest a few times.
I told my bosses that I am taking my time off from work just to care for him. And even when I did came back to work again after that to have me grounded from any abroad meetings or trainings until he was back to his old self again. My boss said take all the time you need. Forget about work they said as family came first. I am grateful to have that kind of network support from colleagues, families and friends. They knew us before we were even married. Had seen all my struggles to build my career. Little that I knew he would be finally home few months later just to be laid to rest. I was so lost to prepare for his funeral. It was so heart wrenching to watch his casket being driven out from our driveway that I just collapsed.
He passed away exactly four days after our 29th Syawal wedding anniversary. I remembered doing my shopping during Ramadhan that year and I was crying because I saw these couples nearly the same age as us doing their shopping together for the upcoming Syawal. Before Ramadhan I was sending our family attire to our tailors. That year I had chosen a royal blue and black for our eid wear. I told him that year I wont force him to wear pink like the year before. You will be having a royal blue and black cara melayu. Everyday I prayed and prayed to allah al mighty for your speedy recovery. And now, sometimes it makes me sad remembering those moment in time.
